VOL. 22
Phase [ feyz ] noun
Any of the major appearances or aspects in which a thing of varying modes or conditions manifests itself to the eye or mind.
A stage in a process of change or development.
A side, aspect, or point of view.
Phase… a sudden transition in life with rationale reshaping capabilities , the evolution stage of the mind, heart, spirit, or career, and the opportune time to readjust one’s atmosphere in order to augment their overall trajectory in life.
When the word “phase” comes to mind, we all tend to think about the major phases in life, consisting of: pregnancy, infancy, childhood, puberty, older adolescence and the critically acclaimed *drumroll please* … ADULTHOOD. There, I said it. Funny thing is, we all dream of this moment. We fall in love with the idea of growing up, being independent, and making all our own decisions.. without having to listen to someone else of course. We’ll be working our dream job, in our dream field, in our dream city. Soon after that, we’ll be the happiest we’ve ever been. Well that MAY be the case, but unfortunately that’s simply not everyone’s reality. The sad truth is, regardless of how hard you work for that ideal situation, it may not be God’s plan for you. Even if it is, is it certain that the happiness you anticipated will come shortly after? Good question. Well, let’s break this down and talk about it.
First off, let’s discuss the worst case scenario, in our eyes of course. So you walk across the stage at graduation, envisioning to have an abundance of job offers falling in your lap, based on ALL your hard work throughout college. Then… nothing. Either you struggle to get interviews, you struggle to get job offers after the interviews, or you simply can’t find the perfect fit as you weed through the job offers. Before you know it, depression begins to knock on the door. Unfortunately, you’re not ready to answer just yet, but you begin to feel like a failure and sometimes even without a backup plan. On the other hand, if you do have a backup plan, it may seem unattainable because it’s something you really didn’t plan on actually having to do. Does grad school ring a bell anyone? So, this all sounds like the worst possible situation right? Well, this was me at one point shortly after graduation. I ultimately struggled to obtain that infamous post-grad happiness I once dreamed of.
Now, let’s chat about the “best” case scenario. So everything seems to be going great. You graduate and either have accepted a job offer, you’re still in the process of interviewing or you’re looking forward to many upcoming interviews. Well before you know it, you’ve accepted a job offer and you begin to either move to a city in another state or another city within your state. You then get settled in at your new place, you start your new job and you actually love it. But not just that, you also love the city that you’re in. For the most part, you really don’t have much to complain about. Obviously everything isn’t perfect, but you’re 90% satisfied with everything as a whole. Now unexpectedly, guess who’s at the door again… wait for it. Yep, you guessed it, it’s depression. & this time, he brought dinner and beverages because he’s looking to stay a while. This happened to also be me, after getting settled into my new job, location and lifestyle. Everything is great and i’m extremely blessed, but somehow unhappiness can still creep in.
What many don’t realize is that fact that both situations and ultimately result in unhappiness. Why is that? Well, because true happiness isn’t defined by your job, income, location, etc. It’s much deeper than that.. for more information on true happiness be sure to read my previous blog entitled HAPPINESS. But regardless, we seek out happiness in all the wrong places and until we redirect our site elsewhere, we’ll always end up empty inside. Now that unhappiness can transpire for multiple reasons but just to name a few that I've experienced myself or have watched others endure happen to be: the feeling of being in a new environment and just feeling lonely [ a major one ], the sudden transition of adulthood and it’s ultimate responsibilities, missing people that you love, and the sudden urge to remove many people from the previous chapter in your life. All of these issues seem minor from the outside looking in, yet they seem to eat away at the flesh of many adults post-grad.
So as many of us enter this next phase in our life, be sure to clear your expectations, live in the moment and don’t be so quick to idealize what you THINK will make you happy. We’re still young, and we have a ton of life to live. There is so much that God hasn’t unveiled in our life yet. One small redirection won’t make you a failure and starting off amazing doesn’t mean you’ll ultimately be successful in the end. Beautiful pictures are created in the darkness, so remember that all great things take a process. But trust me, that process is never what we expected. This 22nd chapter in my life has taught me so much already, and honestly I’m just looking forward to continuing my journey as a student in this course called l i f e.
Jeremiah 17: 7-8 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Stay tuned for VOL.22 Part 2.